Tuesday, 28 October 2014

#likes4likes // Self-Esteem Over Social Media



The reason we titled this post "#Like4Like" was because one: its a huge hash-tag trend within social media, especially with Instagram, and two: we have been noticing a massive increase in the importance of the number of "likes" we get on our pictures and posts, so much so that it hinders whether someone "likes" their day or not. It can even create huge unhappiness for some people.
Like, if their post is "liked" it means they are more "liked" but if not, they're not.
Sorry... lots of "likes"!!

So when thinking about social media, this was the main thing that shocked us. We heard real life stories of how the number of likes or positive comments can determine a girls mood for the rest of the day.

Heres a screenshot taken from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-p-weber-phd-/four-ways-social-media-ca_b_5830540.html (give this a read - it's real good)

What we wanna say about this is that once social media becomes a 'competition'  - it crosses the line toward potentially unhealthy use. When we need validation on social media to determine how we feel about ourselves, stuff starts to get tricky, because it's a never ending cycle. We will never be happy. Why? Social media isn't real life - part of being content and happy in real life is about knowing, accepting and loving yourself, not the number of likes/comments you receive online.

We can be vulnerable to damaging our self-esteem and confidence while using social media in unhealthy ways. Placing our worth, happiness and mainly - our identity, in online profiles will only lead to disappointment.
We can't determine our worth on how many friends,  likes and positive comments we gain - because what if one day we get nothing?
What if one day someone comments negatively?
Our self-esteem and sense of worth will plummet.

But girls - we are worth waaay more than our profiles & our 'life' online

We have a series of workshops coming up in The Edge Ballynahinch, and it's given us an opportunity to expand our usual material designed for one night, into four nights of material! Which has really excited us - we now have the chance to dig a bit deeper.

&  social media is one our topics that we will talk about. We will be handing out some key points on how to use it in a healthy way and what to watch out for as a young woman.

So the more we expand on our workshops the more we realise how the age gap between, us in our 20's and the teens between 12-16 doesn't stand for a lot - we can learn and grow on all of the issues we talk about just as much as they can.
But the coolest thing is, that we have the chance to be examples for them. So the key points we give to the girls are below, and we both are trying to live by them while we use social media -

'BE. you'  - be as authentic as you can, don't be afraid to be yourself while using social media. It can be a platform to connect and express in a real way. But we often use social media to boost our egos and build a persona. Make our profiles as realistic as possible. It's freeing and positive.

'BE.aware' - think before you post:
 Am I expecting to be validated through this post?’ 
‘Am I looking to boost my confidence through this post?’ 
"Am I being true to me?" 


That's all from us this week - more coming next week!
Thanks for reading, lots of love,

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Girly chats & this months theme!

Hey ladies!
Yesterday we were at Emily's new family crib! We munched on macaroons, had several cups of tea & tried on bridesmaid dresses! We also have some new ideas in the making - chatting new logos, attending summer events and workshop planning for January.
We are excited about seeing our dreams unfold over time! BE. is something we have put our whole hearts and minds to. We believe in it so much and as a plus we are also connecting with others who have similar passions and who want to make a difference with us, so watch this space!

Here are the outfits we wore - 

Jeans, Belt & Sunglasses - Topshop | White crop, Fur cardy & Boots - H&M 

Top - New Look | Heeled boots - Zara | Plaid shirt - H&M | Bag - TopShop

Now to introduce our next theme for October! ...

Putting your self-esteem first, over social media. 
We realise that we should be starting these themes on the first of every month, but this is new to us, so it will take a while to get used to!

So, we recently have come across the effects on self - esteem that social media can have (especially in teens). We know this may sound daft coming from two bloggers who are constantly updating facebook and instagrem ;)! But stick with us on this one! Addressing the media and social media is part of the workshops we do with young girls, so we are naturally very interested in digging a little deeper into this issue. Its something that we understand, and we enjoy it, but we know the effects of it sucking you in even when you dont realise it!
We are taking the next couple of weeks to explore these issues further. Like lower confidence & comparison that can come as a result of social media use.
We also want to take an honest look at how it has effected us personally,
both positively and negatively!
We see definite positives to what Facebook, Twitter and Instagram can bring. 
& we see a healthy way to use social network. 
A way that allows us to celebrate who we are & to feel free to be ourselves boldly. 
Not relying on the comments or number of likes that we may receive to evaluate our worth. 
So keep checking back for more on this (including some interviews and videos!